Day 12 – My Trip to Japan

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Leslie Blythe 2 comments

Day 12 – My Trip to Japan

Today was a special day because it was set aside to visit my stepmother’s family and to visit the grave of her parents. The family lives all over the Tokyo area so the plan was to meet in Shiki, a northern suburb of Tokyo for a family luncheon and then take a private chartered bus to the gravesite. In Japan, there are several important visits to family grave sites called hoji and this was an unofficial hoji to honor the memory of my stepmother’s late parents, Toshio and Fumiko, who we always refer to as “Fumiko-sama,” the highest level of honor.

All of this was arranged by Noriko’s brothers, particularly the oldest son. We took the JR line to Ikebukuro station in the north of Tokyo. Like most station in Tokyo it had wonderful restaurants and stores including a great department store called Tobu, where we ate dinner on the way back into town. From Ikebukuro we took a suburban line North to the town of Shiki where we met up at a banqueting center called the Belle Saison where the whole family was assembled to meet us. A wonderful Western style buffet lunch was served, gifts were exchanged and champagne was poured. There were multiple generations of the family assembled from toddlers to elderly matriarchs.

This sign said “The Hirase Family”.

After lunch, we boarded a small private bus for the hour long drive to the cemetery, which was out in the countryside set in rolling hills dotted with stone lanterns and temples.

The bus took us directly to the grave site which was an elaborate stone shrine carved with the family crest and surrounded by manicured trees where we filled buckets with water to wash the grave. once the stone has been washed, flowers were arranged in the little vases attached to the grave and sticks of incense were lighted and distributed to everyone. The two young boys were particularly interested in the water pouring and incense lighting. Once everyone had incense and special prayer beads, like a Japanese rosary, we approached the grave—one or two at a time—to place the sticks of incense in the bronze holders and say a prayer. The eldest son and his family went first and everyone went in descending order, based on seniority of the family. Noriko said that her mother must be wondering why everyone was coming so unexpectedly and was probably saying “Oh, my god, what are they doing here?” to which her brother quipped, “She would have said ‘Oh my Buddha!'” It was a lovely, dignified way to honor her parents and a beautiful setting. Because it was so hot, everyone got water, sodas and ice cream at the main building of the cemetery park and then back in the bus.

Prayer beads and incense were passed around.

On the way home, we stopped at a wonderful roadside marketplace that had restaurants, convenience store and a market where each prefecture showcased it’s produce, which was very fresh and interesting. after an long drive which included an hour long traffic jam, we made it back into Tokyo in time for dinner, which we had in the food court of the Tobu department store at a restaurant called Ten Ryu, owned by a famous Sumo wrestler, which serves Japanese versions of Chinese food and which is known for it’s banana sized Gyoza. (Thank you Reiko for a wonderful dinner!)